Idk

I’m ready to hit the road. Leave it all behind and disappear for a while. I wonder though if I could really do this. It’s complicated and not like me.

Admit it. 2020 was a shit show. I survived with my job and health. And 2021 is nothing but blue skies and bubblegum. I once wrote long ago that I lost something. Never have I gained clarity of what that something was. Never really looked I guess. Just sorta living day to day and letting life figure itself out.

My Dad had a saying…. Unfulfilled needs. Might be misremembering this cause I fucking have no clue what I am saying or thinking right now. But I know he would tell me again. Or a saying he adopted from me…. we’ll see. I’ve never been one to commit and he’d always toss that back in my face.

It’s been a year and a bit since he died. I miss him every day. My Mom I have not seen in over a year. Kinda worried to see her. Selfish maybe. I don’t honestly know. I just want to go and sit with her. Hold her hand. Spend time just being with her. Don’t have to do anything or talk or whatever. Just want to sit with her.