The Creases of Life

I’m on a quest to fold 1,000 cranes but it’s not the legend that’s driving the cause. Although I don’t think it will hurt.

I met John Mandes shortly after I moved to Denver. It was more like he met me in all honesty. Introduced by my sister no less. John struck up a conversation with her after she had stopped by my place. I think John saw it as his “in.” Looking back, it was odd because he was never shy about saying hello to anyone. I never gave much thought at that first hello but we became quite good friends.

I have to share somethings about John. John was the most techno-geek Apple guy I had ever known; He never had a mean thing to say; He had passion for truth; He loved teaching… And he was a gay man.

Yep, John was gay. I wish I didn’t have to tell you this in 2014. It’s kinda an afterthought because I never really cared. However, John never shied away from it. I don’t think it was the first real thing I knew about him, but it was up there in the top 2.

John was involved with the local theater scene. I cannot remember the first play I got involved with but it was to be a one or two time thing… Come in, help out, sell some tickets and hang out. For a year or two it became a regular thing. For The Blue Room I was one of two stage hands. It was a two person show “In ten intimate acts.” A stage hand for this show was responsible for two things… Scene changes, and actor “support”. My part was not too difficult on the actor side. I tended to the male lead…. He was self sufficient. Sheila on the other hand? David certainly had his hands full. I had to be on stage, but only between scenes, and mostly in the dark. I guess you can get stage fright and that first night freaked me out a little. I did not want to ruin John’s play. It was preview night and mostly industry folks in the house so he looked at me and said, “Don’t worry, these people are your friends.” It’s a sentiment I carry with me today when doing something before a crowd.

If John’s computer was more than 6 months old, there was something wrong. He had to buy the latest Apple and sell his old one on eBay. He never really lost money but I can’t imagine the hassle of changing computers every 6 months. With him, it was always about the shiny and new.

Even though John only lived 30 seconds away, we’d spend hours on the phone. Often while watching the same show. I think our favorite was The West Wing. We’d get into pseudo yelling matches about whatever political subject they were dealing with. He won most of the time.

If John had something to say, it was always unabashed truth. No matter if it was about the shirt you were wearing, or the way you organized your sentences when talking. He was a professor of Mass Communications and a journalist so it came easy to him. It was never mean spirited. More like an older brother helping you find your voice.

So what about the cranes? One day I stopped by his apartment to chat. There was a box in his kitchen half full of red folded paper. He explained that a friend of his was getting married and this would be his gift. He was about half way through his task and asked if I wanted to help. So he showed me the basics and we began to fold and talk. After about 15, I gave up. He looked at me and understood. If you fold 1,000 cranes, you will have eternal life. If you fold 1,000 cranes, you will have 1,000 years of happiness and prosperity. The legend is silent on only folding 15, or giving them away. Some say only the one folding is the recipient of the legends gift.

John made his final return to Pennsylvania in 2006 after spending 6 years teaching in Palm Springs. His cancer was back, and this time, there was little hope of recovery. I never really had a chance to say good-bye.

John died September 30, 2008. I wonder if you wonder or care. About his passion, and his life. I wonder if you now see reflections of him in me even though you never knew him. Do you equate John’s gay life (no matter how insignificant that fact is) with my life? Do you think it explains anything about me? Are you having an “AH HA!” moment? Well, don’t. The only thing you need to understand about John and what he still means to me is this: Live your life the best you can; Speak truth when others cannot; Being afraid is okay; Share your life with others.

This is my hope. I do the best that I can.