I really have no idea

It’s the first Monday of the New Year. 2021! What can I say? It’s no different than yesterday, or yesteryear. Although I admit I have not been myself. Covid funk perhaps. I don’t know. Honestly.

I feel like I’ve been punched. Not caring about the big things, and caring way to much about the small things. This is new to me. I exist, and that’s about it. The art of Saturday / Sunday do nothing has crept into Monday. Tuesday becomes the attempted recovery of Monday. Wednesday just is. Thursday comes along leading to doubts about the weekend. Forget Friday, it’s an allowed excuse. Wake up on Saturday, do nothing. Sunday nap all day because Saturday. Lather, rinse, repeat.

I know good things are around me, yet they escape my attention. I make busy work from things I think I enjoy. Origami and photography has come back. Things that are not too material or noteworthy, but has a commonality to the past. When struggling to focus I look at things I’ve shot in the past wanting to find new edits or compositions. Folding and refolding to refine prior missteps. I enjoy it but it seems hollow to me. Going over the past to step into the future.

I’ve to figure this out. Soon I hope.